by Thomas Brady


System: Connected with Mariana
You: Hello, Mariana
Mariana: Thank you for contacting AT&T Internet Support, my name is Mariana ([REDACTED]). I see that I am chatting with Mr. Thomas Brady, am I correct?
You: Yes
Mariana: Hello Mr. Brady, how are you doing today?
You: Great, thanks
You: I need to know where I can go, in person to speak with a customer service rep for DSL.
Mariana: You are welcome.
You: I tried going into this store: 11200 LAKELINE MALL BOULEVARD, J15
Mariana: I will surely provide you the number .
You: And they not only couldn’t find the account information, but they told me DSL was not available at my location, and then tried to sell me UVerse.
Mariana: Please call us at 1-877-722-3755.(24*7)
You: No, not a phone number please.
You: I need to see someone in person.
Mariana: Please let me pull your account, I see that you provided [REDACTED] as the number associated with your DSL/Dial account. Am I correct?
You: I did not. I don’t have that information with me
You: I’m just asking for the location of an office, why do you need my info?
Mariana: Please provide me your AT&T primary email address ending with domain like @att.net, sbcglobal.net etc.
You: I don’t have that. That’s part of the problem.
You: But you don’t need that to give me an address.
Mariana: Are you a BellSouth customer?
You: Yes.
Mariana: I need to inform you that for Bell South customer, we have a separate department who deal specially with Bell South customer issues.
Mariana: I am transferring you to Bell South chat department.
You: Mariana, I’m asking you a simple question. I have AT&T DSL. I need to see a customer service rep. in person. Where do I go to do that?
Mariana: I understand that you want the technician at home, am I correct?
You: NO. I want to go into an office and speak to a CUSTOMER SERVICE REPRESENTATIVE.
Mariana: I request you to contact our voice support to know the right place to see the customer representative.
You: Why can’t you just give me an address? I have been on hold for 4 hours total this week with AT&T. I don’t want to do any more of that.
You: I’m just asking for an address. Why can’t you give me an address?
Mariana: I apologize but we are technical support helpdesk and can resolve your issue remotely, however I am transferring you to the right department.System
You: are being transferred to another queue. Please stand by…
System: Mariana has left this session!
System: Lakaisha Ferguson has joined this session!
System: Connected with Lakaisha Ferguson
Lakaisha Ferguson: Thank you for choosing AT&T Internet Services. My name is Lakaisha Ferguson. May I please have your name as well as your DSL telephone number so that I may pull up your account?
You: I don’t have that with me.
You: All I want to know is this.
You: I want to go into an office, an AT&T DSL office, and speak with someone in person about my account. Where can I do that?
Lakaisha Ferguson: I do understand that you want to talk to someone from our office, right?
You: yes, in person
You: I’m looking for an address
Lakaisha Ferguson: What state are you from?
You: I’m in Ausitn, tx
Lakaisha Ferguson: One moment please.
Lakaisha Ferguson: I wish to help you with your issue today Mr. Brady but I need to refer you over to our 13-State technical support group since I’m from 9-State group.
Lakaisha Ferguson: Let me transfer this session to that department.
Lakaisha Ferguson: One moment please.System
You: are being transferred to another queue. Please stand by…
System: Lakaisha Ferguson has left this session!
System: Dave has joined this session!
System: Connected with Dave
Dave: Thank you for contacting AT&T Internet Support. My name is Dave ([REDACTED]). I see that I am chatting with Mr. Thomas Brady . Am I correct?
You: This is ridiculous.
You: Yes, this is Thomas Brady. I’ve been transfered three times now.
You: I have a simple question, Dave.
Dave: I apologize for the inconvenience you have experienced due to this issue. I will do my best to assist you regarding this issue.
Dave: Sure.
Dave: I will try my best to provide you the information.
Dave: I see that you provided [REDACTED] as the number associated with your DSL/Dial account. Am I correct?
You: I am an AT&T DSL customer, and I’d like to speak to a CSR IN PERSON at a location in Austin, Tx. Where can I do that?
Dave: Let me check that for you.
Dave: Thank you for your patience.
Dave: Mr. Brady, you can access this linkhttp://www.att.com
You: You’re kidding me, right?
Dave: Please click on Find a Store and check the availability.
You: You’re a funny guy, Dave.
You: I tried that.
You: I went to an AT&T location that claimed to be an AT&T Internet location.
You: They said that they could find no information about my account, and that DSL wasn’t even offered at my house.
You: I’ve had it for 10 years.
You: And THEN they tried to sell me UVerse.
Dave: I apologize for the inconvenience caused due to this.
You: I want a REAL AT&T DSL Office with real AT&T CSRs, Dave.
You: Not a cell phone store.
You: Does that exist, Dave?
You: Where would I go to return equipment, for example?
Dave: I am sorry.
Dave: I am unable to locate your records with the account number you provided.
You: You don’t need to locate my records, Dave. I JUST WANT AN ADDRESS FOR AN OFFICE. THIS SHOULD BE SOMETHING I COULD FIND IN THE PHONE BOOK.
Dave: I understand your frustration. However, as we are AT&T Technical support agents, I can assist you regarding any Technical issue.
Dave: This is the information I can provide from my end.
You: So you’d like to transfer me again, then?
You: I’ve been transfered three times.

This is a copied-and-pasted transcript of an online chat with AT&T DSL customer service. It wasn’t until reading this aloud to my wife that I realized I was almost undoubtedly “chatting” with a computer program. Despicable. Makes me want to do this to them: