Michael Jordan's Twitter account

by Thomas Brady


I’ve heard that all kinds of celebrity Twitter accounts are “the funniest thing ever.” This is the first time I’ve personally investigated such a claim.

It’s true.

These are all real Tweets from Air Jordan himself:

  • 6:26 PM May 15th via web: I think I’m done with eating Green peppers. They are the worst pepper, and always make a meal worse.
  • 6:32 AM May 8th via web: Often, people don’t think about the possible consequences of our actions until it is too late. Its a shame.
  • 9:05 AM May 2nd via web: When they ask for your name when you order food, they should not call you by your name if they don’t tell you their name in exchange.
  • 4:32 PM Apr 27th via web: I’m a little surprised our cars aren’t more futuristic by now.
  • 9:43 PM Apr 25th via web: I wish I only had to sleep or eat if I really wanted to.
  • 6:39 PM Apr 8th via web: On a clear nice night : Look at the moon from binoculars or a telescope. It will blow your mind.
  • 9:46 PM Mar 21st via web: If I drink too much coffee in the morning, it puts me on edge. Things that shouldn’t bother me make me anxious, and I can’t be at my best.
  • 9:43 PM Mar 19th via web: I just started watching the newest season of Lost, but I haven’t seen any of the other seasons. Does this show make sense to anybody else?
  • 7:58 PM Mar 10th via web: I woke up this morning and thought to myself, this spring I’m going plant 50 trees. Any recommendations?
  • 8:19 PM Mar 2nd via web: I don’t think I need to try any new fruit. I’ve had enough different kinds for now.
  • 4:22 AM Feb 17th via web: I was just thinking… How do airplanes work?
  • 7:55 PM Feb 15th via web: I sometimes wonder what’s going on in Australia. Or, maybe Japan. Life must be a lot different over there.
  • 12:00 PM Feb 5th via web: A cactus is kind of a shitty houseplant.
  • 1:09 PM Jan 26th via web: Why doesn’t anyone go on picnics anymore?
  • 11:21 AM Jan 20th via web: Cigars are good for nature.
  • 10:46 AM Jan 7th via web: I’d love to find a new Root Beer that really knocks my socks off. I’m worried that I’ve tried them all.
  • 10:17 PM Jan 6th via web: I’ve never used a sword or ridden a horse. I have never been in space or in the deep ocean. There are so many things I’d like to try.
  • 10:05 PM Jan 6th via web: I’m going to read all day one of these days.
  • 4:57 PM Dec 7th, 2009 via web: Do you think Dragons ever existed a long long time ago?
  • 11:25 AM Sep 16th, 2009 via web: I’d like to travel and see some of the world wonders. Who built the pyramids? Who built Stonehenge? Who built the Great Wall of China?
  • Sep 8th, 2009 via web: Laptops are great, right?
  • 10:51 PM Aug 12th, 2009 via web: Wrestlers in the 80s were like fat uncles, now they are all monster men. I liked it better before.
  • 2:20 AM Jul 25th, 2009 via web: I’ve always enjoyed looking into a mirror thats in front of another mirror and seeing the infinite loop of mirrors that follows.
  • 8:34 AM Mar 27th, 2009 via Echofon: I’m riding bald eagles in yellowstone this afternoon.
  • Feb 16th, 2009 via web: Cooooooooooooooooooooookies!
  • 1:27 PM Jan 7th, 2009 via web: my cat is sick :(
  • 8:01 PM Dec 22nd, 2008 via web: drinking oj and mountaindew